


Hundred-Handed Giants, and Other Monsters

by premeditated



Series: every road we walk together touches the horizon [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, Canon Setting, Greed Island Arc, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Destructive Behavior, Shared Injuries, Soulmates, shared pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28358016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/premeditated/pseuds/premeditated
Summary: In a world where soulmates share pain, Killua just assumed that he was destined to be hated. But pain, he soon learns, can mean more than one thing at the same time—especially when it’s a two-sided feeling that belongs to him just as much as it belongs to his other half.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Series: every road we walk together touches the horizon [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076750
Comments: 3
Kudos: 95





	Hundred-Handed Giants, and Other Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> i finished the greed island arc and now i'm gay!!!!!! (i’m a slut for exam/game-type arcs. sue me)
> 
> this fic…. i couldn’t not write it once i thought of it. it contains all my thematic Predictions about the chimera ant arc, which i know is next. personally, i can’t wait for gon to kill himself, and killua, too! ha ha ha i love this show!
> 
> it's also a christmas gift to my brother, so merry christmas. he wants me to add a chapter two after i watch the ant fuckery, and i might do that. maybe i'll even venture into the world of…… gon pov!!! (gasp)

Killua had always expected that the only thing his soulmate would want from him would be an apology.

It couldn’t have been easy, shouldering all of the brutal training that his family put him through without even understanding why. A soulmate bond was supposed to be a cherished connection, a cosmic sign that you would always act in each other’s best interests. When you felt your other half’s pain like it was your own, it should have been impossible to cause each other harm.

Killua was sure that _his_ soulmate, whoever they were, would take his pain-filled life as a message that he hated them. They would see the bond as a curse rather than the gift that it was supposed to be, a curse that gave them nothing but the certainty that the one person in the whole world who was meant to love them unconditionally wanted them to suffer instead.

So, he’d always though they’d want an apology, and probably nothing else. He went back and forth on if he would give one to them, but he never doubted that they would ask.

But Gon stubbornly refused to do anything that Killua expected of him. They were already friends long before Killua discovered that he’d found his soulmate—Gon was his friend from the moment they met. Under any other circumstances, he might have agonized over whether or not to tell him, since it would surely change everything. But with Gon, it was so much easier, because being soulmates wasn’t what felt important. _Gon_ was important, and the Exam was important, and they were working together. There was no room to worry about what would happen if Gon figured it out.

Then, when he finally couldn’t deny any long that Gon must have known the truth, too, he realized something totally different: it had never mattered when or if he knew at all. It never would.

They had been fighting Netero together, which had seemed like a good idea before Killua had realized just how powerful he was. The chairman of the Hunters Association sent Killua sprawling in one hit, and Gon immediately stumbled as pain flared in his shoulder—both of their shoulders. That was all it took for Gon to be sent head over heels, too, rolling over the floor with a pained groan.

Killua had held his breath, expecting the worst—this was it, he’d thought, the moment he had been expecting his whole life, and dreading ever since he’d met Gon.

But Gon hadn’t asked for an apology for being stuck with Killua as a soulmate. Hell, he hadn’t even asked for one for causing him to trip in the middle of their fight.

He had just rolled onto his back, sat himself up, and, while he was still rubbing his head, what came out of his mouth had been, “Ow, ow, ow… C’mon, Killua, shouldn’t we try attacking him at the same time from now on?”

And that was when Killua knew that he would definitely give Gon that apology, if he asked.

“It won’t work if you just say it out loud like that!” he’d hissed, giddy with the certainty that Gon would _never_ ask.

And he didn’t. Gon never so much as acknowledged the bond outside of making plans around it in combat sometimes. It was almost like it didn’t even exist until one of them felt pain, and Killua _loved_ it. Even when Gon seemed for all the world like a blind man who couldn’t recognize his soulmate in the most impossibly obvious situations, he still loved it.

No. _Because of_ that, he loved it.

“ _Saisho wa guu_ …”

Killua’s fingers ached where they held up the dodgeball once more, but they didn’t tremble.

This was Gon’s second shot, and his first one had already crushed both of his hands beyond salvaging. Even though it was excruciating, Killua barely blinked.

Did Gon even know? Could he feel it, too?

It seemed impossible that he didn’t, but no matter how hard Killua looked, Gon’s face showed nothing of the agony that he should have been feeling as he curled his hand into a fist. And maybe—that would explain why he didn’t hate Killua, wouldn’t it? Why someone like him even had a soulmate (a soulmate like _Gon_ ) in the first place?

With all the clarity of a lightning strike, Killua could feel the bond tying him to this impossible boy as he never had before, like a tether to a hurricane. Suddenly, it didn’t matter if Gon could feel it or not. _He_ could feel it, could feel _them_ , and that made him more than just another part of Gon’s orbit, or a weakness or a curse that he needed to overcome.

_Don’t worry, Gon_. Killua gritted his teeth, all of his awareness narrowing to the bright gold light in Gon’s fist. _My hands are yours. It’ll never even cross your mind that they belong to someone else._

“ _Janken_ … _guu_!”

Just like the first time, Killua felt the moment that Gon’s punch connected from both sides. The shattering of bones reverberated back and forth through the bond, pain crescendoing with every echo. But Killua’s first reaction was to smile, and when Gon looked at him, he saw that grin reflected back at him.

Maybe Gon felt the same thing he did, and just threw the punch anyway. Or maybe he didn’t, and it was Killua’s turn to carry all of their pain for a while. Either way, they shared one smile between the two of them, and for a moment, he was nothing but an extension of someone else. He didn’t know the answer, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t need to.

“It’s working!” Gon exclaimed breathlessly, wiping blood and sweat away from his shining eyes. “Now Razor can’t use Back anymore!”

Killua kept his hands hidden from view in his pockets, holding Gon’s gaze steadily with his own instead. “Only two more to go.”

But the perfect moment was swiftly interrupted. Before the game could continue, Tsezguerra was trying to ruin it by asking to switch places with Killua (as if he could!) and, even worse, explaining bluntly what Killua was feeling to everyone present.

“He hasn’t been using Nen on his hands at all,” Tsezguerra informed them after he'd called the timeout and summoned them all over, including Biscuit and even Hisoka, of all people—as if either of them had failed to notice.

“I’m fine!” Killua snapped, even as Biscuit reached over and started tugging insistently at his arm to pull his hand from where he’d hidden it in his pocket. “It isn’t that bad.”

Tsezguerra was shaking his head. “His hands have taken the full force of your attack twice now, Gon, with nothing to stop it from—”

“I already knew about that,” Gon said, bringing the world to a screeching halt. Killua was so surprised that Biscuit managed to yank his hand out.

Gon stared unblinkingly at the wrecked hand, while Killua glared at Tsezguerra.

“You knew?” Killua echoed, gaze sliding back over to Gon.

“Of course, I did!” Gon declared, and Killua’s heart _leapt_ at the words. “We’re soulmates, after all! Ah, I can barely feel my fingers, too…”

“I had no idea,” Killua murmured. _Soulmates_ , he thought in a daze. _He said… we’re soulmates_.

Tsezguerra’s face was as pale as a ghost’s, for some reason. “You… soulmates? The two of you?”

“He felt the impact both times, too,” Biscuit put in, and Killua glanced at her sharply. She held his gaze patiently, even when he narrowed his eyes at her.

“Then it’s all the more imperative that I step in,” Tsezguerra insisted gravely.

“You don’t get it.” Instead of frowning at the two of them like Killua was, Gon turned and smiled at _him_. He could feel it hurting his cheeks. “It _has_ to be Killua. If it was anyone else, I would be too worried about hurting them to use my full power!”

“How can that be worse than _knowing_ the pain it causes you? Both of you?” Tsezguerra asked, something approaching fear in his voice now.

Killua scoffed, and Gon was shaking his head.

“You’ve still got it backwards,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “If I hit the ball when Killua’s holding it, it’s like _I’m_ holding it. And I want to win.”

Killua was already nodding. “We’re _going_ to win,” he said coolly, daring anyone to disagree.

But that was the end of the discussion. Killua returned to his place on the field at Gon’s side, and he made damn sure that his words rang true: Biscuit took out the last Nen beast, and then Killua literally had Gon’s back while they (and Hisoka) finally caught Razor’s throw. When the time came, he carefully set up the winning shot with his mangled fingers. Gon nodded once before he closed his eyes, summoning his Ren.

Killua felt it like the sudden roar of a bonfire blazing in front of him, inside of him. Neither of them bothered to speak until Gon was winding up for the last punch.

“ _Saisho wa guu_ ,” he said through gritted teeth.

Killua’s hands flared with pain as glowing gold power gathered around Gon’s fist, his “rock,” but he didn’t so much as blink. This punch could smash his hands into nothing, and he still wouldn’t look away.

“ _Jan…_!”

Gon would trade his hands for this sight, and Killua would die before he missed it.

“ _Ken_ …!”

All that mattered was that Gon needed his hands. However Gon thought of them, that was what he would make them do.

“ _Guu_!”

When the shot finally landed, and his hands were screaming with pain, all he could think was, _Again_.

Afterwards, Killua decided what he’d meant. _If he asked, I’d do it again._ Even if he didn’t ask, Killua would already be there. Gon had his hands now, officially, whatever they were worth. Whatever he could _make_ them worth.

Less than three weeks later, when Killua felt his left hand getting crushed into dust by the Bomber, he knew that Gon must be trading it for something incredible.

It was that look on his face when he told them about the fight—the bloody, swollen cheeks, the trembling lips while he beamed. The bright gold in his eyes.

That look was worth more than both of his hands, Killua thought. That look was in all of his futures.

“So, my plan did work,” he sighed, the answering smile already on his lips. “Even though you didn’t stick to it at first.”

When Gon didn’t answer right away, Killua looked up questioningly, only to stop short. Gon was staring hard at Killua’s left hand where it hung at his side, head tilted like he had something to say. His hand, already throbbing with the pain of Gon’s injury, seemed to burn even more under the weight of that inscrutable gaze.

Killua held his breath, apprehensive.

Finally, Gon looked up to meet his eyes. “Yours still works, right?” he asked a bit sheepishly. “Even though mine is…”

Killua’s whole form softened with relief as soon as the words spilled out of Gon’s mouth. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine,” he promised, flexing the stinging fingers as Gon beamed at him. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Ah, I’m glad!” Gon said warmly, laughing, and that was it.

Now it was Killua’s turn to ask a question, and he knew just what to say.

“Ready to finish this game?” he asked, just so that he could watch Gon’s eyes light up in response.

“Of course I am!” Gon reached out and linked their hands so that he could tug them both forward, already leading them back towards the spot at the start of the game where Biscuit was waiting for them with Archangel’s Breath. “Let’s go, Killua!”

Killua sped up until he was matching Gon step for step, but he kept their hands twined together. He glanced to the side and found Gon already looking back, smiling, before he even realized that he was smiling, too.


End file.
